So due to popular demand, I am posting my COMPLETE story for the infamous Detective Unzombie/Punk Hanna AU. This was all told during a conversation with , the cutest person on the internet. ENJOY

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Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
kk
Alright WELL
Punk!Hanna is pretty much a WHAT IF Hanna wasn't exactly the same after his parents death and subsequent homelessness?

What if he did become a hell of a lot tougher, somewhat meaner, and rolled with the bad kids on the block for some kind of stability. Most of it is the same (in theory anywa)
he still meets lamont and worth when he's 19, and he still is a paranormal investigator, and he still would rather get the shit kicked out of him and talk things over with supernatural beings than smash them with hammers


It's people he has problems with. B: He's socially awkward in a GRRR I'LL PUNCH YOUR FACE INNN kind of way, though when you get to know him he's still sunshine and rainbows and...DUMB



UNZOMBIE (in this case Jayne Hart, horf dorf, though hanna still makes up names for him cause he's like WTF kind of name is that LAME. NEW NAME TIME)
is me rolling with the whole Detective thing from Tess' doodles. B: He's the what-if of what IF Zombie didn't get killed or have amnesia and what not
and instead went on to live a healthy life? And because of said healthy life, got to be reinstated into the police force, and his first case as a detective being the murder of Hanna's parents and the disappearance of said boy


Cacodaemonia says:
aaah neato!!


Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
the boy being gone without a trace, and them being unable to find any suspects or evidence of the murders, years pass and it becomes a cold case. It haunts Jayne  all that time


TEN YEARS LATER



Cacodaemonia says:
that's such a cool idea.


Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:


the department starts getting reports of many strange happenings going on in their jurisdiction, as well as sightings of a boy with a bright red mohawk and a tool box for a face near them, as well as really odd breaking and enterings



Cacodaemonia says:
how do dyou come up with this?? so cool tell me mooooooore

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
IDK MAN I JUST THINK TOO HARD ABOUT THIS SHIT
ANYWAYS

Cacodaemonia says:
lol


Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:


so yeah, Unzombie's squad gets put on a team to investigate these seemingly unsolvable cases, since Unzombie is kind of a pretty wicked detective
plus his english Ex-interpol partner, Ples, is also really weird and never stops TICKINg

Cacodaemonia says:
*swoons over him*
over unzombie
haha yay ples


Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
The Ples thing is a whole nother thing
More of WHAT IF HE WASN'T AN ACCOUNTANT? WHAT WOULD HE DO
OH I KNOW
INTERPOL


Cacodaemonia says:
why of course XD  


Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:


Okay so, the first step was to find this kid
so they search for him for WEEKS

no

fucking
  
trace


Unzombie is pretty chill about it, since he knows getting frustrated won't solve anything
even though he kinda sorta REALLY IS
After one too many all nighters however, he gets put on a week's leave
and guess who he finds during a late night walk the first day, breaking into an old apartment complex

RED MOHAWK

WEIRD CLOTHES

IT'S THAT KID AHHHH

Cacodaemonia says:
hahahahahaa!! yes
*glee*

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

So he's all HEY

HEY YOU

-chases-

Hanna: HOLY SHIT -runs-

Cacodaemonia says:
ROFL

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
Of course Hanna is no match for Unzombie's AWESOME

Cacodaemonia says:
pfff, who is?

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:


And ends up getting caught and even thrown into a fence, though Jayne didn't really MEAN to, it was just the kid tried to punch him and he really didn't want to explain getting a black eye from some tiny thing with rooster hair

Cacodaemonia says:
LOL

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
Cue much cussing from Hanna's part, and Unzombie just being ridiculously chill about the whole thing
then he looks really close at the kids face
and it's like

what

what

WHAT

YOU

YOU'RE

Cacodaemonia says:
@A@

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

HANNA CROSS

Cacodaemonia says:
*dances*

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

Hanna: D8< YEAH, SO?

Jayne: ...D Alright so, 10 years missing is a Very Big Deal, you know.

Hanna: asjdjksad WHAT. ...D Who are you

Jayne: D:/ sigh

Cacodaemonia says:
eeee, storytime with jordyn is the best!

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
I TRY BB


Anyways so, after awhile, Hanna calms down after he realizes that Jayne ISN'T going to bring him in. He's actually a lot more interested in what HAPPENED, and gets the feeling that Hanna is as much responsible as he is for what's going on lately in their fair city

They have a chat, Hanna dodging questions left and right, but Jayne is alright with that.
He finds out Hanna is a paranormal investigator, and he was says that a lot of what's going on is connected to his cases

Which Jayne finds out really coincided with his cases, a lot of the things he COULDN'T explain otherwise

Cacodaemonia says:
aw, unzombie is fabulous *___*

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
8D isn't he?

So yeah, they kind of become well aquainted right off the bat, even if Hanna was being kind of dodgy. Jayne doesn't plan on letting him up so soon though. he's been looking for this kid almost all of his career, and he's not about to make that mistake and lose him again.

He feels it's the least he can do for not solving Hanna's parents' murders

Cacodaemonia says:
right

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
ANYWAY

so he ends up taking Hanna home, despite Hanna's protests that he can DAMN well take care of himself, which Jayne knows quite well. He just doesn't care, and Hanna doesn't REALLY seem to mind either. And after he sees the shit hole Hanna lives in, and the state of living he has, he decides he's gonna do something to help.

Cacodaemonia says:
aw! omg this is such an awesome story T^T

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
A
nd from then on, they begin a mutual partnership. Hanna helps Jayne and his department out, acting as somewhat an informant as well as giving clues about things from his supernatural point of view
while jayne takes care of hanna (keeps him fed, make sure he doesn't get killed, or worse, end up in jail AGAIN) and takes care of cases from the legal and human side of things

And

that is my story for now. B:

Cacodaemonia says:
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee i love it!! aw aw AW
do they fall in wuuuuuv????

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
8D they do get together eventually.
HAHA YES

Cacodaemonia says:
i want to know how it goes down *|
er
8|

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
Well


8D it's maybe, half a year since they started working together? The thing with Adelaide has happened by now, and Jayne is keeping an eye on Hanna because of FINAS AND CAS, so he starts sleeping over at Hanna's instead of in the crib at work (where he slept most of the time) or his apartment
and they kinda fall into this weird but really natural pattern of working together and coming back to the same place most of the time (being a detective means sometimes you don't come home)

Cacodaemonia says:
aw, so sweet and kinda domestic

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:


and it's not like it wasn't THERE before. Jayne had already become pretty fond of Hanna. One night while they're working, papers strewn all over the floor, cross-sectioning with yarn and sharpie and Hanna making that silly gnee sounds everytime they manage to find a connection between a suspect and a statement or evidence or whatever
that Jayne realizes he's sorta in love with this weird, rough, other worldly manchild

Cacodaemonia says:
fffff, i'm iagining unzombie with those awesome shoulder holsters. so sexy
baw baaaaawwwwwww T^T
and then and then???

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
And he's like

well

okay then

I can't screw this up cause of FEELINGS. I mean, he's practically half my age anyway, as well as my PARTNER. Focus on work Hart

Cacodaemonia says:
oh, is hanna not 24 yet in theis AU?

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
OH NO he is
but I'm of the opinion that Unzombie is the same age as Ples

Cacodaemonia says:
oh, okay.

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
so he's around 37-36 in my head

Cacodaemonia says:
oh!
oh, since he died 10 years ago. that's right
er
didn't die
you know what i mean XD

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
YEP
Exactly
he's got mega scars though, from the stabbing

Cacodaemonia says:
;___;

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
B: still gives him nightmares even

Cacodaemonia says:
;;;_____;;;; oh man
hanna will snuggle it better

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
8D Don't worry, Hanna does help him with it
haha, yessss

Cacodaemonia says:
<3333
oh man, your story is killing me. i love it so

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

SPEAKING of Hanna. B: Being the impulsive crazy person that he is, he sorta throws a wrench in Jayne's plans of keeping it to friendship and business by kissing him after a kinda bad arguement

Cacodaemonia says:
omg tell me! 8DDDD  why did they argue??

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

cause Hanna got hurt (a few bruised ribs, a couple cuts and bruises, nothing TOO terrible. Jayne got there in time before the demon pulvarized hanna) again after doing something STUPID and RECKLESS and Jayne TOLD HIM TO WAIT and DAMMIT HANNA YOU CAN'T KEEP DOING THIS AND AKDJKSFKJSF

Cacodaemonia says:
T___T

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

And they both just SEETHE and then Hanna sorta pounces him and it's like WHOA

Cacodaemonia says:
and i imagine this AU hanna was much more beligerent in such a situation? like, fuck you i can take care of myself

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
8D pretty much

Cacodaemonia says:
guh

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
Hanna cusses A LOT more
is kinda rude
and really tough

Cacodaemonia says:
hahah, i bet

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
8D but they do turn to schmoop and hurr durr of course
like

Cacodaemonia says:
<333333333333333333

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

there's this scene in my head where Hanna calls Jayne during work, about dinner because OMG Martez we should totally have that thai thing you made last time it was so good ommgggg


Cacodaemonia says:
aw, yeah??

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

And Jayne is just all UH-HUH yeah sure of course :>> I'll be home soon, so you just hang tight.

Hanna: ....UM

Jayne: D: ?

Hanna: ...://> IloveyouandI'llseeyoulaterandBYE -click-

jayne: -stares at phone- ...x///D; Ahaha. -puts phone back on reveiver and turns around-

Everyone: -looking at him all sidelong and :>>-

Jayne: ......D WHAT

Everyone: -goes back to working- :>>>>


Cacodaemonia says:
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE baw omg *more inarticulate noises of cuteness*
x3

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
WANT ANOTHER SCENE?
DO YOU

Cacodaemonia says:
OMG YES if you will give me oooonnnneee

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
ALRIGHT HERE'S ANOTHER

Cacodaemonia says:
yay!

'Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
SO Ples and Jayne get sent to London to help look for a serial killer that escaped over there.
they end up staying for a month

Cacodaemonia says:
D:  so long

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:

D:/ Chased the fucker all around europe
BUT THEY GOT HIM
8D; because he tried to kill again, kidnapping a girl. he wasn't that hard to find, and they managed to save the girl as well

Alright so, during this month, Hanna and Jayne have only had email and phone contact. So you can imagine what THAT'S like

Cacodaemonia says:
aw yay :3
gah, i can't, even. longest nick and i have been apart in the last 9 years has been, like, a week and a half    D8

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
D:/ ABSOLUTE TORTURE, AIN'T IT?

Cacodaemonia says:
gah, bad and awful

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
so imagine that times BAJILLION

Cacodaemonia says:
lol

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
alright so. 8D At the airport where they are scheduled to return, there is a newbie waiting to take them back to the station for their debriefing

Cacodaemonia says:
uh-huh

Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
the whole time he's there, there's this shady kid with a weird buzz and absurd side burns and a FACE FULL of metal. So he's all WATCHFUL of this kid, that he barely misses Ples and Jayne coming out of the gate
he's about to wave them over when SUDDENLY

Jayne is rushing over and the kid is too and he just DROPS all of his bags to sweep him up and kiss the daylights out of him
the newbie is absolutely speechless and Ples is just DEEPLY amused. 8D

Cacodaemonia says:
................omg *cries forever*
Dochii: GOL-DANGED-DAD-BLAMED-DAD-GUMMIT...WHAT IS IT? says:
8D hahahaha
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THE END